After 10 months of being your mommy, I've decided I could write a book. Not about being a parenting expert -- I am far, far from that -- but rather about the things you Google as a new parent. Even I can't believe the juxtaposition of words that somehow fly out of my brain into my Google search bar. Seriously, what did parents do before Al Gore invented the Internet*? I can't imagine not having access to
Lately, I think if you asked Google to find the one user who has most frequently searched "how to make a baby sleep later," they'd come knocking at my door. And in second place they'd find your daddy, which means our household would be guaranteed to win some type of amazing Google prize. Unfortunately for us, I don't think Google is going to deliver us a prize and our Google searches have lacked a bona fide solution. Some people say to put you to bed earlier. Some say to keep you up later. And some say don't bother trying, some babies are just early risers. (Seriously, Google...can't you use those bajillion of dollars in earnings and help all of us poor, sleep deprived mommies come up with one unified answer? We all know you'll run the world one day. It will be a happier world if mommies get sleep. Trust me.)
Seriously, buddy. I thought it was bad when you got up at 6:00 a.m. Then I thought 5:30 was worse. Now we're onto 4:30 wake-ups. Yes, that is a.m. I'll remind you of this when you're just coming home at this time during your freshman year of college. Those little moments of plotting my revenge are what helps me to get through a day. (That and lots and lots of caffeine.)
You know, sleep is a funny thing. The 6-7 hours we are now getting before you wake up would have seemed like heaven on earth during your early months. But now that we've had a taste of what it's like to sleep like a normal human being, these early hour wake up calls are so, so harsh.
And, interestingly enough, you have total bartering power of us right now and you don't even know it. We would gladly consider a number of things as a trade for you sleeping in until a normal hour. (And yes, in this case "normal" means 6 a.m.) Maybe you really do know that you have all of the power and that's the reason why you reward us with so many morning smiles.
All I'll say is it's a good thing you're so darn cute.
Love,
Mommy
*Just so you aren't confused about Al Gore and the Internet, this article on Snopes** does a great job setting the record straight: http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.asp.
**And just in case Snopes isn't around when you read this, Al Gore did not invent the Internet.
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