Dear Graham, 13 Weeks

Dear Graham,
We survived the week! While I'm sure there was never a doubt in your mind, your mommy wasn't quite as certain. Day one of day care was rough on mommy, but you seemed to be just fine. Your naps were short and sporadic, which is no real surprise given they are short and sporadic at home. You were worn out the first few days...mommy was so sad that we didn't get to spend more time together because you were asleep by 6:30. (Although you tried to make up for it by waking multiple times during the night!) By the end of the week, you were taking longer naps and you were awake more in the evenings. Let me tell you: I've never been more excited for a Friday knowing that we could spend all weekend together.

This week at school you also made your first artwork, which mommy and daddy have proudly displayed on the refrigerator. It makes me smile every time I pass by and I think we'll soon have to buy more magnets to display everything you will be making at school.







Friday evening we went to your first fall festival at school. You were dressed up as the cutest puppy dog that the earth has ever seen, and you received many compliments throughout the night. You weren't quite sure what to make out of all of the lights, sounds, costumes and people: you just looked around all night long studying your surroundings. Your teachers told us what a good baby you are at school and that you're one of the most content newborns they've had. We, of course, beamed with pride.




Although you're a bit young to be concerned with bald spots, let me tell you: yours is growing on a daily basis. The area on the back of your head where you sleep has little hair left. We were doing the comb-over trick for awhile, but I'm afraid it can't be hidden now. Your daddy and I are curious as to what color your hair will grow back as. Your eyes continue to be blue, although they are darkening a bit. We think they might turn brown, but we are enjoying the beautiful sea color they are right now.

Toward the end of the week, we decided to finally give up on swaddling, as you found a way to break out of every type of swaddling we had. We bought your first sleep sack and went cold turkey one night. As you fell sleep that night, you had your arms stretched out like a "T". I think you were surprised to learn your arms could actually go that way. We had a bit of a rough night that first night, but each night you're getting more used to the fact that you have arms that can actually move.



Love,
Mommy

Dear Graham, End of Maternity Leave Edition

Dear Graham,
After the fastest 12 weeks of my life and the first 12 weeks of yours, I go back to work tomorrow. I felt inclined to write you a letter about this event not to chronicle your milestones or growth like your normal letters, but to tell you how I feel and explain my reasons about returning to work. Perhaps this is more of a letter for mommy than it is for you.

When I was young, I was taught that the only thing that would ever hold me back in life was me. This mantra has shaped nearly every life experience for me and it's one that we will try our hardest to instill in you. I hope you grab onto this lesson and ride it for all it's worth. As cliche as it may sound, you have the ability to achieve whatever it is you set your mind to achieving. And I can't wait to be there cheering you on the entire way.

Because of this mindset, I always knew that I wanted to be both a working professional and a mom. I didn't see why I would have to be defined by just one title or why I would need to chose one over the other. I knew I could do both.

Then, you came along. And I loved spending time with you. Watching you grow. Reading to you. Taking walks. Fostering your development. Much to my surprise, I started to dread the date on the calendar when I wouldn't have the opportunity to be with you all of the time. Yet, at the same time, I was looking forward to returning to the workplace and using a part of my personality that isn't stimulated at home. I felt so torn.

I was prepared for feeling upset about this transition. I wasn't prepared for the crippling guilt that comes with making this decision. Instead of feeling like the world was my oyster, I began feeling like I was choosing one lifestyle over another.

And, that's why I wanted to write you this letter. I'm not choosing anything over you, nor will I ever. Instead, your daddy and I are working to provide you with opportunities. Opportunities that one day I pray you will recognize, be thankful for, and run with. And, ultimately, it's my hope that you'll see in your mommy and daddy two people who are trying their hardest to provide for you, both at home and at work.

With so much love it hurts,
Mommy

Swaddling

On the same night that I published the post about how well the Miracle Blanket was working the unthinkable happened: when I got up with Graham at 2:00 a.m. he magically got his arm out of the swaddle.

You've. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

And you just thought I was being neurotically superstitious.

This will be the last time I mention swaddling on this blog.

The End.

Dear Graham, Week 12

Dear Graham,
What a fun week we've had! Over these past several weeks you have truly started to shine, which has been so enjoyable for your mommy and daddy. You are happy, interactive, and confident. This is a huge contrast to the first eight weeks of your life, where you weren't certain of yourself or your surroundings. This transition has made it so much easier on your mommy and daddy. I am so thankful for the many blessings that shine through each of your milestones.

In fact, in a conversation earlier this week I asked your daddy why, in all of the books we read, they didn't tell you that the first eight weeks were so hard. He said it was because no one would have children...I disagreed and said I would have liked to have been better prepared. Instead of being blindsided, I would have rather read a book titled, "Get Ready for the Toughest Eight Weeks. Ever." or "You Just Thought Labor and Delivery Were Hard." or "Everything You Thought You Knew You'll Now Doubt." Something so painstakingly obvious that it would have struck me right between the eyeballs and made me say, "Oh, now I get how it's going to be."

I guess there is no substitute for experience, and while it was challenging, these past 12 weeks have been the proudest time of my life.









Now, back to this week. In my last several letters to you I have avoided mentioning swaddling. Apparently parenthood makes you incredibly superstitious, as I've become convinced that just by mentioning progress, you would somehow know and decide to take two steps back. (In fact, when you were just a few weeks old your daddy and I banned saying "good night" to each other as we thought you would hear us and wake more frequently. This just about sums up how delusional and sleep deprived we were.)

For several weeks, on the advice of my good friend Melody, we were double swaddling you in two blankets and it worked like a charm. You actually didn't fight being swaddled and you didn't break free. You also looked adorable, earning many nicknames like pea in a pod, pig in a blanket and, my favorite, the glow worm. Well, as you've gotten a bit bigger and stronger, you eventually found a way to break free. So, we got the straight jacket Miracle Blanket back out and you've been using it each night. You don't fight it anymore and you don't break free...such progress.

You've been becoming more coordinated with your hands recently. Instead of them flailing mindlessly all day long, you're beginning to control them more. Your hands are finding their way to your mouth and you suck on your entire fist. You are also learning to grasp your "best friend" the rattle, but then you don't know what to do with it when it's in your hand.



As you've made progress recognizing voices, you are also now noticing music more and more. We are playing CDs for you before each nap and before bed, and it acts as a sign for rest. Your daddy also spent time with you playing guitar, and you were so vocal in response to his music.



You've changed so much in these last few weeks...it makes me excited to see what you're going to do in the next several weeks.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Graham, Weeks 10 and 11

Dear Graham,
This week's letter features two weeks as we were in Florida last week and didn't have the ability to upload all of our photos and we didn't have your bear to take your picture with. Let me just tell you that our last two weeks have been filled with adventures and many firsts for you.



As I mentioned in your last letter, (somewhat) cooler weather has embarked on Houston and we spent much of the time outside. We went and picked out our pumpkins and mums for our porch and you loved being outside. On Sunday of that weekend we met friends for brunch outdoors and then went to Discovery Green, a park downtown. You were being such a good baby that we decided to go to the Astros' game with them. Despite the open roof and the noises of the stadium, you were able to sleep on me while in your Baby Bjorn, which you love. All was going well until you woke up and decided you needed to eat 30 seconds ago, and you wanted to make sure that the entire section we were sitting in was aware of that fact.



On Monday you took your first (of what will be many) plane rides to Florida with mommy. Daddy helped get us to our gate and down the jetway, but he had to work a trip so you and I flew with you alone. You did such a great job...you took your bottle on takeoff and throughout the flight mommy bounced you on my knees as you like to constantly be in motion. (Apparently going 500+ miles per hour in a 757 wasn't enough for you.) Prior to the flight, I know everyone around us was cursing the fact that they had to sit in our section, but you didn't make a peep. I was so proud of you.



While in Florida you met so many people who love you so much. You met your grandpa, uncles, your great-grandma, great aunts and uncles, second cousins (we think), and friends. Everyone marveled over you and you didn't spend much time there not being held by someone. While in Florida you became more attuned to people's voices and intently follow whomever is speaking with your head and eyes. You also enjoyed nightly walks around the block in your stroller with your grandpa, who enjoyed them just as much as you did. While there you also learned to fall asleep on your own at night after being laid down drowsy but awake without us having to go into your room multiple times to give you a pacifier or calm you down. With all of our sleeping challenges, this was a task that I thought the books just talked about but that you might never accomplish.







Your smiles continue to delight all of those around you. As you get more rest both at night and with your naps, you smile more and more each day. I told your daddy recently that you've become so much fun and I love being around you so much more lately as your personality is shining through and you're actually responsive and interacting with us.



During these past two weeks your mommy has reached some important developmental milestones of her own. When given the choice between napping or running, I actually, gasp, selected running. This is huge progress on my part as several weeks ago I couldn't have imagined turning down sleep for a million dollars, much less to exert physical energy outside. I also spent my first day apart from you when I went to visit with friends in Florida. During my entire drive there, I literally felt like I had left a vital piece of me at home, almost as if I was missing a limb. Considering the longest we'd previously been apart was for two hours, this was a challenge for mommy, but your daddy and the family helped me through the day by sending many adorable pictures of you to my cell phone.

You were just as good on the plane ride home from Florida and your daddy met us in the airport to help us get home. While we had a wonderful time in Florida, it felt so good to be reunited as a family of three. We've spent all of our time at home just being together.

I can't put into words how much joy you bestow on all of those around you. I never knew that I could love this fiercely, this deeply, this protectively.



With all of that love,
Mommy

Dear Graham, Week 9

Dear Graham,
Today we had your two month check-up appointment, the day after you turned two months old. The visit confirmed what we already knew...you are a growing little boy who is meeting all of his developmental milestones. You weighed in at 11 lbs 3 oz (33 percentile) and you are 23.5 inches (72 percentile) as you continue to be long and skinny. But daddy says not to worry, that many quarterbacks are tall and thin. :)

Unfortunately you also received your shots today, but you did such a great job. After being upset initially, you calmed to nurse and then fell asleep on the way home. You woke up when we got home and even had smiles for mommy and daddy.

We spent a lot of time talking with the doctor about your upset tummy and the fact that it wakes you up so often at night. (Last night alone we were up 4 times...once for an hour and a half!) We're increasing your medicine dose and are going to space out the times we give it to you. Hopefully that will help in providing some extended relief.



During the last weekend your grandma flew in from Florida to help mommy and daddy with you for a few days. She loved playing with you and she even sacrificed her sleep to wake up with you during the two nights she was here, letting mommy have her first good nights of sleep in eight weeks. I am forever indebted to her!



This week brought the first taste of fall weather to Houston and we enjoyed it with you to the max. We went on an hour and a half long walk with daddy on Monday and on Wednesday we took our first StrollerFit class together. You also enjoyed being outside with daddy in the mornings while mommy slept in a bit to recover from our nights together.



You have become more alert in noticing your surroundings, paying close attention to things like the mobile on your swing and the hanging toys on your car seat, which before went somewhat unnoticed. You also like to stare at the ceiling fan and lights. You are very close to giggling...you'll take too many breaths and get so excited when something delights you. And we, in turn, are delighted by you.


Love,
Mommy